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The Police Report that Doesn’t Exist: The Saga Continues

21 December 2017

So last week I mentioned the police report from hell …

I am sure that working in the administrative offices of a local police department is a difficult thing to do. Admin work is generally soul-sucking, and I’m sure it’s not the healthiest, most sunshiney environment. I get that.

But I am not a criminal. I am not standing at the desk window to complain, or to try to get out of something, or to vent. I am a sweet, smiling woman (because I make an extra effort to be when I have to ask someone for something) who is doing a good, nice thing, and who just needs a little help.

I am not the part of the job that you hate. I am the pleasant surprise in your day, so you can go home and tell a heartwarming story. Instead of just complaining about your boss and that guy trying to get out of a traffic ticket (non-fiction, he was in line in front of me), you can say,

“I met a young couple today who is adopting. Ya, from China. Isn’t that interesting? Well their government wants this report that we don’t really have, but this young lady was very organized and efficient—she had even coordinated her husband and a notary to arrive at the same time so we had all the IDs and everything necessary—and she had a letter that explained exactly what she needed. And she was really worried about it, but I make a few small adjustments and we got it put together just right!”

And then you can have dinner with your family and feel good that you had a good day because you did a good thing.

You were a Christmas miracle.


Or you can stare at me from your desk that’s eight whole feet away from the window like I deliberately timed my visit for when I knew the person who sits at that desk by the window would be gone. And, just for good measure, you could roll your head a little bit and groan when you get up, just to make sure I’m aware of the Herculean effort you’re making on my behalf. 

And instead of listening to me explain what I need and why, you can save those precious two minutes by cutting me off and telling me how the background check gets run. If I try to ask any questions or discuss any kind of option or flexibility, definitely don’t let me finish a sentence and just insist that it’s good enough because you surely run background checks for the China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption department, like, every. day.

That would be sure to keep things appropriately awkward and melancholy.

Throughout this process, take extra care to not notice or appreciate that my husband showed up (separately) exactly when you started to ask for his ID, or that a notary showed up as you were printing and signing the form. Or that I brought a quiet activity to keep my kid (and husband, as it turns out) occupied in a chair so as not to bother anyone.

Actually, do us all one better by totally squashing any satisfaction that may have come from organizing three working adults’ lunch breaks on a Tuesday afternoon, by getting unnecessarily suspicious and offended when a licensed. notary. asks to see your ID so she can notarize the form you just signed.

Because that’s her job.

Because that’s 100% the point of a notary notarizing anything.

Your manager? Yes, while you’re at it, stomp off and get your manager too so she can come to the window and add actual, literal insult to the situation by accusing us of attempted identity theft.

Because that’s obviously what’s going on here.

I obviously drug my five-year-old to the police station in the middle of the day, my husband took a long lunch, and a notary and small business owner drove from the next town so we could defraud a random administrative assistant at a local precinct.

(What’s more, I know your manager realizes that she’s being offensive and insulting, because I know that she, herself, is a notary. Because I was here last week, talking to someone else to figure out how to set this up, when I was informed that the manager is a notary but probably would not notarize this report for us.)

But well played. Now you can be offended and irritated for the rest of the afternoon, and go home and tell someone, instead, about a small mob of people who showed up to harass you today.




I emailed these reports to our (very nice, very sweet, and very helpful) Coordinator at the adoption agency this evening. I am praying that they are sufficient to get the job done, but—based on the very simple list of requirements she sent me in that very well organized letter she created for me to take to the police station—I don’t have much hope.

(If they are not, I will be calling in that favor with the state police. You know who you are.)

Next Steps and Prayer Requests

Other than that, we are still waiting for the home study report to be finalized. Nothing else goes ahead without it.

If you’re praying …

  • Pray that the home study report gets finalized (in our favor) soon.
  • Pray that we get the police report that we need. If it’s not the one I have now, that I can get it from the state police department.
  • Pray for our boy. Pray for the people taking care of him, the biological family that has or will surrender him, and for his safety and health.

Thanks and love,


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