On Why I Am Quitting in 2015
I’m turning off my social web for 2015.
I’m not excited about it.
I find Twitter useful for discovering good content. Facebook is sometimes entertaining. (Although it’s also infuriating so, of all of it, I am looking forward to a break from Facebook.) I really enjoy the pretty pictures and the mommy community on Instagram. I like this space — Spits And Wiggles — for the outlet it provides. I am a fan of social media. I enjoy it.
But for some weeks, my soul has been arid. There have been oases, in God’s great mercy, but in general it’s been dim.
I know that the desert is where spiritual growth happens. I know that everyone goes through those seasons. But I was starting to feel like something needed to change. Like I couldn’t keep begging God to take me to a new place, and not start walking.
So one day, as I sat reading about John the Baptist — for no particular reason — a still, small voice seemed to say exactly what I didn’t want to hear.
“You’re building your own kingdom.”
I knew exactly what that meant, because that’s how He speaks. At least to me. He speaks simply, but He opens eyes when He speaks. (“Did not our hearts burn within us … ?”)
Because not only do I enjoy social media, I work in social media. I do social media for small business friends sometimes. I work in content marketing. I’m no expert, but I find the concept of social media marketing strategies very interesting. I know how and why of building a personal brand online (especially for wannabe writers).
But I also know that I am sand — made from dust, to return to dust — and nothing built on me will stand. I know that the more my life is about me, the more pathetic I will become. I don’t want to be me with a side of Jesus. John said, “I must decrease …,” but that’s not what I’ve been doing.
And really, there is no audience, no number of followers, no human influence or favor that He needs to complete His purpose in my life.
I don’t want to do my thing, and pray that His plan for me aligns with my passions and desires. I want to forsake all, including my passions and desires if necessary, to make room for His plan for me.
Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that social media and blogs can’t be used to glorify God and spread the gospel. They absolutely can, and they are, and there are a lot of people who are doing that. I’m not saying that everyone on social media is an egoist. Obviously. Sometimes I use it well, but all in all — I just need more. I need a change, and there’s only so much room inside a person. I need to decrease if He is going to increase.
So I’m putting it all on pause for 2015. Because I need to. (And because I feel like He told me to.)
When I really stop to think about it, I’m interested to see what God might do. Most of the time though, I’m not really excited about it. I’m going to miss some people, some community, some entertainment. I might need a book agent at the end of the year — ’cause I can’t stop writing, but I don’t know what I’m going to do with it all …
I know I’m going to miss you more than you will miss me. A year seems like such a long time — another birthday, shoot I could have another baby (and no, I’m not pregnant). I covet your prayers.
Disclaimers: I won’t actually be disabling Facebook, because I need my account open to maintain some pages. And I have a couple projects in the works (a research project and another spoken word video) that I might pop back in to share as they’re ready. I won’t be checking notifications or anything, so if you “see” me, I’m not really there.
I hope your 2015 is awesome. See you in 2016.